


Zero

by yjunsz



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst., Bittersweet Ending, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Like really angsty, M/M, Short One Shot, Suicide, also angst did i say this was angsty yet, also follow me on twitter its @cyjsorion, but actually its angsty did u know that, hmm maybe im just a softie, i usually never cry when i write angst but MAN was i cryin, like oh my god please take a breather before and after reading this, symbolism... lots of it.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-18 15:08:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29370567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yjunsz/pseuds/yjunsz
Summary: The view was stunning - there was a grapefruit tree and a lemon tree near the cliff's edge, and an assortment of flowers and bushes sprouted every now and then. The sky was glowing a beautiful, pastel blue, the sun a blooming flower. But none of this was as stunning as the man before Beomgyu.He had a smile brighter than the sun behind him. Hair softer than the grass beneath him. Eyes illuminated with pure joy, and pure intent. Taehyun was as perfect as a man could be.“I have a lot of flaws, Gyu.” Taehyun rubbed the stem of the flower between his fingers, and the pedals span as he did so. “I don’t do well under pressure. At times, it can completely crush me - and I don’t want to hurt those around me with my weaknesses.”“It’s okay to be weak, Taehyun!” Beomgyu stammered helplessly. “Everyone is weak.”Taehyun never replied to Beomgyu’s comforting words. Instead, he brought himself to his feet, and pointed forward, at the distant horizon. “That’s where I’m going if I start self-destructing. I don’t want to hurt those around me. That’s my greatest fear.”Beomgyu’s face twisted in confusion, but he shrugged his thoughts away. “Okay then.”
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Kang Taehyun, Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Comments: 6
Kudos: 25





	Zero

**Author's Note:**

  * For [all my homies in "gay a$$ mfs" chat](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=all+my+homies+in+%22gay+a%24%24+mfs%22+chat).



Clouds ran swiftly across the sky, masking the brightness of the stars and casting a gloomy shadow over the earth below them. Blackbirds decorated the sky like little ornaments. The moon was a bright, yellow marble in the indigo sky, emitting a soft, yellow light down on a gloomy boy’s face. His shadow stalked proudly behind him, and his toes curled in his shoes. He looked down below his feet, and his eyes met the crashing waves of the daunting ocean. The tips of his shoes met with no surface, but he maintained balance and continued looking down. He applied a bit of pressure onto the surface below him with his left foot, and the tip of the cliff eroded a little. Pebbles that broke off from the cliff rolled down and dived into the water, pressing small creases against the water’s surface.

A sound emitted from the front of the boy’s sweatpants, and he grabs the brick hanging in his pocket. A bright notification reads, “Beomgyu? This is Yeonjun. Where are you?”

Another reads, “Taehyun’s funeral is tomorrow. You need to get some rest.”

Upon reading the message, Beomgyu’s grip on his phone tightens, and his jaw flexes, creating two small bulges at the sides of his head. Again, his phone vibrates, but it’s from Taehyun’s brother, Kai. He doesn’t have his contact saved, but they’ve texted enough that he recognizes his number.

The message reads, “He’s dead. Are you happy now?”

And before he knows it, Beomgyu’s hand flings out towards the waves, roaring frustratedly, and along with the pebbles from the eroded cliff follows his phone. It plops into the ocean, distorting the motions of the waters. He couldn’t care less, though. He doesn’t need a phone where he’s going.

Slowly, to appreciate the feeling of the wind gently blowing against his person, Beomgyu lifts his head up and looks into the blueness of the night sky. He feels so close to the moon, like he could lift an arm and pull it from the sky; like he could flick his finger against the indigo panorama and fling all the stars out of the sky, and watch them fall like little snowflakes.

“Am I happy now, love?” Beomgyu speaks to the sky with a voice of silk, searching for an answer to the question from his phone. His voice is gentle and smooth, as if he were lulling the sky to sleep. “I was never really happy. Things just felt better when I was able to hold you.”

Right now, time doesn’t exist. His friend Yeonjun doesn’t, either. Same goes for Taehyun’s brother, the grassy surface beneath Beomgyu, the stars in the sky, the blackbirds, and everything else. Right now, it’s just him, the moon, and the vast ocean.

“You jumped from here, didn’t you?” He whispers, dropping his arms to his sides and stuffing his hands in his pockets. “I hope I didn’t incline you to make that decision - but I hope you’re happy now.”

Gently, his eyes shut, and Beomgyu reminisces the past.

_“Nobody knows how to get to the top of this cliff - but I know how to climb up. Just follow me, Geombyu.”_

_“My name is Beomgyu,” he said with a small grin. He followed the blonde boy up the cliff, climbing with all their strength until they reached a flat surface. “Say, what’s your name?” Inclined Beomgyu. “Why’d you even bring me here?”_

_The boy ran to the tip of the cliff and extended a hand. “I would always come here whenever I felt lonely. I want to show someone the bliss of being up here... Look here!” He grabbed a small, white flower and balanced the stem atop his puckered lips. “A chrysanthemum! These flowers are my favorite…”_

_He halted very suddenly, and his eyes became dull. “Am I talking too much, Beomgyu?”_

_“Not at all!” Beomgyu confirmed, plopping down to his knees and dangling his feet off the edge of the cliff. “I like listening to you… er…”_

_“Taehyun,” the blonde boy smiled, causing the chrysanthemum to drop to the space between his two feet. “My name’s Taehyun.”_

_“Well, keep talking, Taehyun!” Beomgyu piped with the widest grin. “What about chrysanthemums?”_

_Taehyun joined Beomgyu, sitting by his side and dangling his legs beside Beomgyu’s. “They say these flowers symbolize death, but I say they just got a bad rep. They’re pretty, and they bring me peace.” He reached his hand behind his back and grabbed the flower that dropped from his lip. “Don’t you think, Gyu?”_

_Beomgyu remained silent, but Taehyun continued. “If I were a flower... I’d be pink. I think you’d be white, though.”_

_The view was stunning - there was a grapefruit tree and a lemon tree near the cliff’s edge, and an assortment of flowers and bushes sprouted every now and then. The sky was glowing a beautiful, pastel blue, the sun a blooming flower. But none of this was as stunning as the man before Beomgyu._

_He had a smile brighter than the sun behind him. Hair softer than the grass beneath him. Eyes illuminated with pure joy, and pure intent. Taehyun was as perfect as a man could be._

_“I have a lot of flaws, Gyu.” Taehyun rubbed the stem of the flower between his fingers, and the pedals span as he did so. “I don’t do well under pressure. At times, it can completely crush me - and I don’t want to hurt those around me with my weaknesses.”_

_“It’s okay to be weak, Taehyun!” Beomgyu stammered helplessly. “Everyone is weak.”_

_Taehyun never replied to Beomgyu’s comforting words. Instead, he brought himself to his feet, and pointed forward, at the distant horizon. “That’s where I’m going if I start self-destructing. I don’t want to hurt those around me. That’s my greatest fear.”_

_Beomgyu’s face twisted in confusion, but he shrugged his thoughts away. “Okay then.”_

  
  


Beomgyu never knew what he meant by that. Now he does. “You were right about a lot of things, love - but you were wrong about those damn chrysanthemums. I…”

Taking a deep breath, Beomgyu recollects himself. “You always hated being alone - and it’s wrong of me to let you progress to your next stage of existence like that. Being lonely is the worst, right?”

A blackbird chirps, causing Beomgyu to turn back. The bird stands proudly on a tree stump, where those vividly yellow grapefruits used to grow. Its beak pecks at the heart engraved in the top of the stump, but it soon grows bored and flies away.

“I’m lonely… You’re lonely… I need to catch up with you. I need you.”

Desperately, Beomgyu pulls his shirt off his body and throws it behind him. The fabric gets caught in the wind, and it falls off the corner of the cliff. He inches forward, looking down at the roaring ocean as it beats against the boulders of the hill and glistens beneath the moonlight. “You’ll greet me when I catch up, right? You’ll be there. You always have.”

He inches forward again, this time feeling a disturbance in his sense of balance. The way his torso jerks to the side is like someone is shaking him, saying, “ _Come to your senses. You’re in danger_.”

“I miss you, Taehyun. I can’t wait to see you again. To hold you in my arms and know it’s real. I can’t wait to have that back...!”

Beomgyu inches forward again, and the inconsistent surface beneath him causes his torso to jerk back, but he stays. The surrounding blackbirds fly away, afraid of the ruckus.

“You are everything to me, Taehyun. I’ll meet you again in my next life. I promise.”

He inches forward for the last time, and his body launches forward, flipping upside down. His demise approaches at an alarming rate. Waiting at the bottom of the cliff is that roaring ocean, with waves of fury.

_Three..._

Beomgyu’s eyes squeeze shut, his sweatpants beating in the wind.

_Two..._

His body grows tense as he reminisces the bitter-sweetness of his demise.

_One..._

Right before he meets his end, his lips curl into a bright grin. He doesn’t curl his head in to protect himself, nor does he lift it to put himself in further danger. He lets his fate come to him.

_Zero._

As if he were never there, the black birds come back. One continues to peck at the heart engraved in the tree stump. A few decide to fly around, occasionally landing on the tip of the cliff to take a small break. Another one flies toward the moon, as if it had the determination and strength to land there - as if that hopelessness and despair never existed.

* * *

Two men hold hands tightly as they walk along the shore. One has gorgeous, yellow locks hanging from his head, and the other proudly wears a head of blue. Their footsteps are in sync, and they slowly push their feet into the sand with each step they take. They walk beneath the shadow of a towering wall of stone, seemingly with no end.

The one with vibrant, yellow hair looks up at the wall of stone ahead. “I’ve heard there’s a nice grape fruit tree and a stunning view up there. Impossible to climb, though...”

They walk past the wall’s daunting shadow, and the sun’s light beats down on their skin.

“How do you know that, Yeonjun?” Asks the other man, with electrifying blue atop his head. They meet eyes, and Yeonjun buries a frown beneath a forced grin. “A couple friends told me a few years back. They’ve been there before.”

“Oh... You think we can ask them?”

Yeonjun shakes his head, rubbing the diamond on the other's ring finger. “They’re somewhere else, now, Soobinnie.”

The ocean to their right is calm; gently swaying with content. If it could, the bright blue waters would grace a soft grin. The sun above shines down on the waters, and the blue waves glisten and sparkle beneath the light. Soobin looks down at his feet as they press dents in the moistened sand. “I’m sorry about that. I’m sure they’re in a better place.”

With contentedness like that of the ocean’s, Yeonjun nods his head and smiles. “I’m sure of it.”

With the sun beating down on the Earth, the blackbirds have retreated from the warmth of the cliff. The stump of the grapefruit tree hasn’t moved. That engraved heart is still there, along with the letters “T” and “B”. The lemon tree stump is nowhere to be found - but a small, grassless patch sits in place of the stump, where two green stems sprout. One stem holds soft, pink petals, the weight of the petals causing the flower to curve inwards; toward the other flower. The other flower holds soft, white petals, and wraps around the pink’s stem as if those pretty pink petals were its entire life.

And it was. That pink chrysanthemum was everything to the white one. And the white one was everything to the pink one. Protected by the secrecy of the cliff’s surface, they sit happily in the Earth, holding each other for as long as they possibly can, without a blackbird in sight.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading :) twt @cyjsorion
> 
> this gets 5,000 kudos i send it to my english instructor and ask her to annotate it lol nervous sweating


End file.
